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Feed on

nerdy guy and hottish girl

mark wrote:

Why do nice guys finish last and why do girls like to date assholes? Why are hot girls super bitches and the nice ones usually fat and/or ugly? (obviously this isn’t speaking about everyone, but generally speaking, I do see a pattern. Why? I ponder.)

Mark this is a phenomena many have noted over the age of men. Of course, I’m only speaking of the last 10 or so years. Which isn’t the full span of the “age of men” but I think you get my point.

There are really two types of “why is that hot girl dating [type of guy]?” questions.

Why is that hot chick dating that sports jock?
When we reference sports jock, we are not specifically talking about those men who are very into sports. This also includes any man who takes his appearance very seriously, and has little or no personality to back up the looks.

I imagine the type of girl who dates these types of guys are themselves somewhat underdeveloped in the personality department. Though this does not always hold true.

The reason for this is insecure hot girls. They are the girls who need to prove to themselves by maintaining the image. They have to look cool, and in order to look cool, you have to be with someone who themselves projects coolness.

Why is that hot chick dating that ugly guy?
There is a plethora of ugly guys in this world. So many in fact, that the large majority of them remain dormant in their mothers basement or similar environment. These men are the reserves, called only in time of dire need.

Actually that’s not true. Here is the truth to this situation.

There are some guys who are so comfortable with their ugliness that they just don’t care. Instead of hating the world and lashing out at everyone around them, they accept their ugliness for what it is, and they go with their true self.

There is a certain type of girl who is attracted to this solid personality. These types of girls are able to overlook the exterior defects, and look in on the shining beauty held within these ugly guys.

The final answer.
There is no final answer. The issue is that there are many types of people out there. And it so happens that there is a mixture diverse enough that you have seemingly attractive (seemingly only because that’s a matter of perspective) females dating guys who provide no obvious value on the evolution scene. The one exception being the ugly guys, because sometimes they are smart, but those are rare occasions.

Everyone knows that beautiful people are smart.

The original used in the title image used with permission (permission pending) and courtesy of Alex Evans, check out the original here.

Read it in the bathroom! Print It! Read it in the bathroom! Print It!

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34 Responses to “Hot Girls Dating Ugly/Jock Guys”

  1. on 02 Mar 2008 at 11:50 pmJenny

    Ever heard of the Ugly Duckling Sydrome? Well…

    Ugly Duckling Syndrome

    A Girl who grew up all her life unattractive until High School or College when she then “Blossomed” into a really hot girl. Unlike naturally pretty girls though, her self-esteem is pretty low (As it’ll almost permanently be for life) but, she has a good heart, personality, and soul because that’s all she could afford to have when she was unattractive. Also, any girl with UDS, will go out with any guy cause to her “Looks Don’t Matter. As long as they have a good Sense of Humor.” As long as they never realize that they’re a Ten, they’ll always be humbled and down to earth.

    A girl with the Ugly Duckling Syndrome or UDS, is The Perfect Catch! She’s a Perfect 10 both in and out and she’ll do whatever you want her to do! She’ll date anybody and could never do anything wrong to you because to her, she’s lucky just to have you!

  2. on 21 Mar 2008 at 6:55 pmStephen

    Jenny has hit on an excellent point here. I think we all appreciate (perhaps in a secret way) the ugly ducks in our lives.

  3. on 15 May 2008 at 11:38 pmAdamman

    Bitchy girls are bitchy for a very good reason. I’ve spent weeks studying male to female relationships. Think about the life of a very textbook attractive female. Everywhere you go you get guys who think they are being bold approaching you with seemingly “original” lines. So say this girl likes to club. If 20 guys approach her in one night and she goes out once a week at least. That’s 80 guys approaching her in a month. Now think about a year. 80 dudes per month times 12 months in a year, 960 dudes with “original” lines. Now if she indulges these “brave” men she now has to put up with 960 conversations that start and end with, “Hey whats your name love?” “Do you like it here?” “What do you do?” The would peeve me off, thank god I’m a moderately attractive male. So now say this girl has been clubbing for 5 years and has been since she was 19, so she’s 24 and smokin hot. She’s been approached by roughly 4,800 dudes. Wouldn’t you put up a bitch shield to deflect this unnecessary waste of time? Not to mention the monotony. But then again all the frustrated chumps in the world buy these woman drinks so don’t be surprised if they shoot you a smile. They just are drunk enough yet.

    Woman love true and real confidence. Sports jocks likely have spent most of their lives either being envied or being popular. As we all know this rank of esteem will create an individual of confidence. These guys aren’t thinking about what’s wrong with them. For all the dudes out there watch woman. Do you respect a woman who doesn’t take care of hygiene and hold herself in esteem? Confidence is 20 times more attractive than any looks will ever take you.

    My two cents…

  4. on 04 Aug 2008 at 5:53 pmAnthony

    I hear nothing but the “good-sense-of-humor” rag everytime.

    I’ve made women laugh, and that’s all I’ve done, and I’ve far as I’ve ever gotten (Especially highschool). Never went out with any of them, just made them laugh….so I can’t help but not consider the statement valid yet…damnit.

  5. on 15 Aug 2008 at 8:24 pmLASIV

    i h8 the world…

  6. on 29 Aug 2008 at 2:38 amUppo

    Being ugly sucks.

    I’m ugly: I’m short, scrawny, bald (I’ve shaved my head), pale complexion, big ears, big forehead, egg shaped/bumpy head with protruding, bulbous rear skull (corroborated by several independent observers and likened to Sam Cassell BTW — I never get compared to anyone famous who’s cool, popular, good looking and also bald like Bruce Willis or Michael Jordan or something, it’s always Gollum, Coneheads, or Alien). I look way older than I am, and am told so mainly because of the male pattern baldness which you can still notice despite the shaved head (and this is an IMPROVEMENT over growing it out or at least I think so).

    I have a goofiness about me. I have every reason to believe that people think of me as an ugly, unpopular, stupid, wimpy loser — and that’s exactly what I never wanted to be like. It’s what me and my family and friends would make fun of…the retards, the midgets, the fatasses, and the ugly f*cks. Put another way, if I were to watch my life and who I am like 10 years ago I would have felt sympathy or disdain because I never saw myself as being like that. Now that feeling is still there, despite what the mirrors reflect and what other people pretty much blatantly tell me I am and what life tells me I am (the fact is I am alone, barely see friends, have no girlfriends, and people are repulsed by me). I am repulsed by me too. It’s a strange feeling between being disgusted with who I’ve become and denying that I’m that person or that it’s really “that bad.” Most days I fool myself into thinking it’s not as bad as it seems and that there is more to life. And there is. But when you’re young, you should have to worry constantly about how freakish you look in public — you should be confident and adventurous, willing to meet any social challenge and explore people and places with the feeling that you’ll be accepted and liked. I used to have that feeling, or at least had hope that it would be even BETTER in the future. But it’s worse. And I’m gettting older and older, and that feeling of confidence — that feeling that others envy you, desire you, and like you — is fading away with my looks.

    There’s a harsh truth to face. I’m not going to amount to anything or do anything significant or have any of my dreams fulfilled. I’m never going to be famous or admired or rich. Those are still fantasies I have, but I’ve resigned myself to the fact that they will not happen. I’ve instead adopted a more realistic, local, microcosmic approach as I’ve matured: enjoying everything but just on a smaller scale: my environment, my friends, etc. So you can’t be world-famous or rich…so at least you can be loved by the good people you do meet, coworkers, relatives, friends, local strangers. At least you can matter to a lot of people and accomplish enough without national attention. But even this mentality is diminished by my lack of self-esteem. I don’t feel good about how I look or who I am, and it seems to tarnish everything else. It’s like thinking about death — it makes almost everything seem pointless (I’m an atheist).

    So I can either accept my ugliness and how people have come to see me (which I’m almost 95% sure would be something like “old, wimpy, nerdy, goofy, weird, ugly, awkward, whiny” over how I want to be viewed — “energetic, youthful, charismatic, fun, hot, sexy, tough, intelligent, articulate, suave, popular, capable”) or resist it and try to convince myself it’s at the very least “not so bad” (when it really IS that bad and I’m constantly reminded of it because the world won’t let me forget myself or lose myself). Even my delusions have become more pathetic: I used to convince myself I looked like Tom Cruise; now I try to convince myself I look like Michael Stipe. And both are false.

    Therefore, the choices are hopelessness and resignation vs. delusion and denial. At least in relation to what I’ve always wanted my life to be like, i.e., being popular, lots of good friends and good looking women, belonging, being admired, being important, being rich and famous and powerful and well-connected. Even on a microcosmic scale that dream is dead, and it’s because I’m ugly and wimpy. Guys don’t respect me or take me seriously because the average 15 year old is already bigger than me and can kick my ass, and women don’t date me because I’m an under-confident, ugly, awkward, puny little man.

    If I go with delusion and denial, I can salvage some hope and temporary happiness. I’ve fluctuated between this and hopelessness/despair based on my mood and the feedback I’m given from the world (viz, when it reminds me what an ugly, freakish, weakling/ loser I am) for roughly the past seven years (about the time I started balding in college). It’s been no joyride, but at least it keeps me going. However, nothing has materialized because of this. It hasn’t gotten me a girlfriend or really helped me accomplish anything socially. I’m no more popular, connected or accepted than any other time. I still spend my free time generally by myself, alone in my apartment. I talk to maybe one person consistently, and he lives as boring a life as me.

    If I go with hopelessness, I’m basically saying my life is over. Everything I’ve ever wanted up to this point is unachievable. The best I can hope for is to find other things that make me happy, to settle, or to be hit with dumb luck. In other words, just be glad that some people love me and accept me, that I have some people to be with and who know I exist and care for me, and that I have my health and hobbies and interests. It’s the best I’m going to get, but as for living the life I see others live — i.e., the life I’ve always wanted to live (pretty, happy, charismatic people; e.g., The Beach)– it’s nothing but a pipe dream. The sooner you admit it, the better off you’ll be. You’ll never be like that or experience that, except in a daydream. Marry a fat chick, try to have fun, and live out your days.

    Then again, I could be wrong. It’s all very subjective. And that’s the hard part. You can’t know what others think, and you can’t ever fully understand what attracts people. But there are certainly patterns…and just because one ugly guy lucks out and scores a pretty girl doesn’t mean it’s an everyday thing. I normally see attractive women with attractive guys, or at least decent looking guys who must have a lot of confidence, be talented, highly intelligent, or connect very well with them. It all depends. But that’s still the exception. And it’s still not what I pictured for myself. So what if it’s POSSIBLE? I don’t want people thinking I’m some sort of statistically improbable event. I want people to EXPECT it. And they don’t expect ugly guys to get pretty girls. That’s a fact. It’s natural, it’s what we all think. It’s what *I* think.

    Who knows.

  7. on 04 Dec 2008 at 1:43 amMan behind a mask

    I agree with Upper. I’m a man in his early 30’s who’m has had no luck with women. I’m in exelent physical shape as I weight lift religiously to try and make up for the hidiousness from the neck up. I just wasn’t born with the typical good looks of the highschool prep kid named Kevin who all the girls admire. While I am strong and show it, it does nothing in the way of attracting women. I am bald so I shave my head and I also wear a hat whenever I go out.

    There are a thousand diffrent books and a thousand diffrent guys with success stories about attracting women, but here is the UGLY {pun intended} truth. From the moment you step through that door to a club or anywhere public where women go, you are JUDGED IMMIDIATELY ACCORDING TO YOUR LOOKS AND NO AMOUNT OF PURSUASION CAN MAKE A WOMAN ATTRACTED YOU. THEY EITHER ARE, OR ARE NOT. In my case. as soon as I walk in to a bar or or anywhere, women close there doors to me. I can see it in their expression when I am seen. I can read there body language immedietly, and I can sometimes catch a snickering comment to eachother when I walk by of how ugly I am.
    Yes, I understand Uppers plight. I share it also. I’ve dealt with my curse all of my life. I’ve come accept that I will be alone till I die. I have no children and have never been married that is my fate though at times I’m still in denile, I will eventualy accept this fate fully.

  8. on 24 Dec 2008 at 12:46 amsancii

    i duno vwhat to say, life isnt fair, no matter if ur hot or ugly, ever hear that phrase, theres many find in the sea, how about there is many days to live but ull never catch that right fish from the sea, im only 17 and im experiencing what the guy above me has said, im not ugly but im 5’5 so yea makes me feel like shit, every time i hear sumone whisper girls like taller guys, it just bring me lower and lower, that now i dont kno what 2 say to a girl, i just try to run away from a conversation bcuz she prolly want sum tall buff guy with a bank full of money, i duno y ppl think money brings happines, it certainly doesnt bring me happiness if i had millions i wouldnt be happy if i didnt have suome to love me. its really sad how women can be so bitchy at times and just care about themselfes..

  9. on 22 Jan 2009 at 10:43 amKrissy Ackerman

    Nice Guys finish last, I believe because of social training. Nice guys place too much value on women. The Jerks or jocks get women because they value themselves verse hot girls. Women always want to feel like there getting someone of value. Know your value and you will attract more women.

  10. on 22 Jan 2009 at 1:21 pmAdamman

    The womens body language is a reflection of your body language. If you have poor self esteem it comes through in your posture, your eye movements, the way you present your voice when you say hi. The women are not responding to your physical looks they are responding to your vibe. If you give off a creepy vibe they respond to you that way.

    The problem at hand is that people equate their self esteem with their looks so it SEEMS relevant. But in reality women only relate to your self worth. As said above they want value out of a relationship. Women typically base their emotions on those around them, so if you don’t feel good about yourself they won’t feel good about themselves and they typically won’t want that.

  11. on 21 Feb 2009 at 3:55 amDavid

    Krissy and Adamman NAILED it on the head. Guys that are considered attractive or confident tend to put themselves first and foremost before anyone else, man or woman. Everyone is equal. It is their tangible actions that set them apart or cause them to blend into the background. Athletes understand this, even if they can’t articulate it, because they train themselves to be excellent in their sport. Some very good mindsets begin early and are encouraged by society when they join a pewee league or start being athletic when young. A non-jock can have that same drive and ambition, but usually it is focused into an intellectual field like school – which is often dictated, critiqued and graded by society. So typically a nerd is satisfying status quo. Athletes play to WIN and only have their own minds and bodies and the confidence to assert themselves which becomes a part of who they are. If you ever watch or read interviews with pro athletes they have amazing mindsets when it comes to applying themselves in their sport. They have their shit together and this translated into behaving with confidence and taking actions that many other men do not.

  12. on 04 Apr 2009 at 2:12 pmAndy

    there is this really attractive girl in one of my classes (shes a junior, im a senior). i think i have a chance with her, but i think concerns with what others might think about her/say to her if she dates me affects my chances. gossip spreads so quickly in my high school, and i feel like we wouldnt be able to connect if people are teasing her for dating someone like me. how can i make this work? how can i date a girl who is very attractive while im not, and still make it work while she would most likely get teased for dating “someone like me”?

  13. on 04 Apr 2009 at 7:03 pmAdamman

    Easy-Peasy lemon squeazy!

    Just date her. If she can’t tolerate the bicker than it wasn’t meant to be and you’ll both be wiser at the end of it all. No sense in destroying the relationship before it even starts. You’d be surprised what people will actually do compared to what we expect them to do. Go for it tiger!!

    If people try to kabosh your thing, just play along. Don’t be affected. Don’t get upset, don’t fight back, don’t defend yourself.

    Kid 1: “You smell funny.”
    You: “Yup I was raised in a dumpster.” (Calm, smiling)
    Kid1: “Haha you were raised in a dumpster.”
    You: “Yup, we got free food every night!” (Still calm and smiling!)
    Kid1: “….. ”
    You win!

    So for your example.
    Kid2: “You guys are strange why are you dating? *Sinister tone and crazy eyes**
    You: “Yeah I am pretty crazy. I’m so crazy I ate a caterpillar one time.” (Calm and smiling.)
    Kid2: “Haha you ate a bug!”
    You: “Yeah I did, it was delicious.” (Still calm and smiling.)
    Kid2: “…..”
    You win!

    No regrets buddy, just get out there and do your thing. You’ll feel a hell of a lot better if you tried and failed then if you didn’t try at all.

  14. on 24 Apr 2009 at 10:02 pmdeane

    look, i’m a fairly attractive woman and i know what i’m talking about. looks are important sometimes but if you don’t have them they can definately be made up for. i know a guy who was scrawny, mexican, very unattractive and about 2 inches taller than i am (i’m 5’3). yet when he walked into a room all eyes were on him, i even went out with him a few times. it’s about how you carry yourself, how much you like yourself, and how much you care what the people around you think. he walked into the room and didn’t give a s**t what anyone else thought because he liked who he was. he carried himself well and was clean. you can’t fake confidence because your body language will give you away. it has to be real! go out and discover yourselves for who you are and learn to love yourself. it isn’t that women like assholes, its that women like men who like themselves. assholes generally are really happy with who they are, they place themselves first and girls like that, they arn’t needy, whiny or clingy, they say non-verbally “this is who i am take it or leave it. i don’t need you too feel good about myself and i’ll even grace you with my presence when i want to”. girls dont want to be with a man who needs validation all the time. they also like mystery and a man with a life. GO OUT! make friends, it is really simple. just listen to them. if you can find someone with that charisma and confidence, watch him to see how he expresses himself. his voice is firm his posture and eye movement are sure like no matter what he does, he does it purposely. also find an activity you like doing, it can be rowing or pottery or anything at all. it gives you a life of your own. stop worrying that you’ll die alone! when you find yourself people will want to be around you and women will follow. stop feeling sorry for yourself and LIVE YOUR LIFE take a good long look at yourself. you are all you have and all you need. you say you’re trying to accept being ugly. why do you care?? you don’t need to accept anything of the sort! accept yourself as who you are. good looks fade with time anyway but what’s left behind is what you’ve made of yourself. Act like you’re a find and if you truly believe it women will start to believe it too. i guarentee it!

  15. on 24 Apr 2009 at 10:07 pmdeane

    ps i suggest taking up an instrument even if it’s just for fun. Progress in something is a real confidence booster. and most importantly make sure that whatever you do, you do it for yourself.

  16. on 07 Sep 2009 at 1:08 pmsolrac

    I have deep empathy for uppo and man behind a mask.

    I too am in the same age group (I’m 30), and have had no luck with attracting the girls I fantasize about.

    But I’m lucky. I’m not hideously ugly.

    I have had 4 girlfriends in my life so far who were all attracted to me and actually came on to me, but these were given to me, completely for free, by life. I had no involvement in turning them from indifferent strangers to attracted. I’ve had 4 girlfriends in my life but also only 4 dates, same girls. I have never been able to just meet and date lots of girls randomly.

    There are reasons for this:
    – I am not good looking enough. (Opinion, not even sure)
    – I am not creative and witty and spontaneous with conversation. (FACT)
    – I am not extremely confident. This means body language and direct, unwavering eye contact. I learned about this recently. (FACT)
    – I have slight speech problems. Nothing noticeable at first, but I don’t get to my points very quickly, and sometimes I’ll mispronounce words. I’m a terrible story teller. (FACT)

    When I look at myself in the mirror, I am oftentimes disappointed because I’m not a big fan of my look. I don’t look like a super hot guy in the face. I don’t look like the kind of guy that *I myself* am attracted to. (Yes, I’m attracted to men in a non-sexual way. The same way a follower might be attracted to a great leader.)

    But I’m by no means ugly either. I have great pictures of myself. A couple of them look modelesque. I have been called very photogenic. In the right light, in the right mirror, I can look great.

    But I can also look incredibly ugly as well. I too have been repulsed by own look. But hey, even celebrities have their ugly pictures. However, for me it’s 50 / 50. Maybe even 70 / 30. (Where 70% of the time I find myself to appear unattractive.) This leaves me wondering whether I am seen as attractive or ugly by the girls I fantasize about. I just don’t know. This is my curse. I imagine that the answer would vary around the world. In Hollywood, where I live, the answer would probably be ugly. In Poland, perhaps just the opposite. That’s why I can’t wait to ditch this town and experience the world.

    Uppo and Man behind a mask, I believe you two are hideously ugly. I’m talking about deformed, or close to it. And I hate life for this. I hate the fact that humans can be born ugly or beautiful, and that this is something that is universally seen and understood by all. Life is unfair. Ugliness and beauty is the most unfair thing in the world. And what I’m talking about is one thing only: face. Everything else but the face (hair, body, muscles, fashion, tan, complexion, even height, etc.) is changeable. Your face makes you who you are. Beyond whether or not your face is attractive, your face dictates whether or not you’re an alpha male, seen as strong, or respected, feared, or ridiculed.

    This is where the power of acting comes into play. One must be able to act more strongly than your face. If you look weak, wimpy, or ridiculous, you must destroy that perception by developing a cold stare, intense eye contact, direct and effective speech, and body language that does not show weakness, but instead fearlessness, and an attitude to never back down.

    That is why beautiful people can just be themselves. Less beautiful or plain ugly people can’t be themselves if they want to be a winner. They have to develop the extreme confidence I describe. (Except for the rare ugly person who is already that way naturally.)

    I don’t like this idea. I’m not the alpha male. I’m not the over confident guy. I’m just a regular, easy going guy. I have no idea how to fight and anyone who knows how can kick my ass. I was picked on all my childhood (due to social development problems, not ugliness) and was a kid who was unable to fight back or stand up for myself. I grew out of this phase after high school. Now I’m just a plain guy who can’t get girls.

    So I must embrace this idea. I must become like an alpha male. I must develop a steel gaze, unwavering eye contact, learn to smile more, and most of all become witty and humorous in conversation. And stand up to people who might challenge this act. Whenever you act a certain way that involves being successful with women, you will eventually get challenged and that is the time you must prove that your act is true. Even if you get your ass kicked, you gotta have it kicked like a man. Even an alpha male can get his ass kicked. No one’s invincible.

    I am confident that these techniques will overcome my average or slightly below average looks.

    I can only feel deep emotions for uppo and man behind a mask. If I was hideously ugly as you claim that you are, I would still want to know. I would make my life’s mission to prove that an amazing act can overcome the ugliness.

    I would revel in the fact that my success, if attained, is improbable. I would love that no one would expect it. I would gain great enjoyment from other people questioning “how did that ugly ass dude get with that girl? What is his secret? Is he rich?”

    Even still, in my heart I would still hate knowing that I’m ugly every day. This is a curse.

    Only one thing will truly alleviate this problem and that is technology. Just as primitive humans lived in a time before anesthesia, medicine, etc. and were susceptible to death, amputation, and disease that are all easily avoided nowadays, we currently live in a time before the next advancement of plastic surgery.

    In the near future I *know* that there will be technology to turn even the most hideously ugly person into a good looking person, in the face. It is inevitable. The technology is just too primitive today.

    Stop hating yourselves. Learn to understand that you live in a primitive time in which a mistake of nature cannot be corrected by technology. Look at all the even more primitive people who suffered torture, abuse, death, disease, amputation, pain, unending extreme pain, and worse, and then look at yourself. You get to live in a peaceful society. You get food every day. You have a home. You have your health.

    And in the meantime, make it your life’s mission to show that confidence and intense acting can overcome ugliness.

    Find something that you love to do. It doesn’t have to bring national fame. You just have to love it. Whether it be an instrument, or making tattoos, or doing drugs and listening to music (responsibly). Find things that you greatly enjoy. And live your life to experience those pleasures, within the context of this free, peaceful society.

    And make a girl like you. By your words, humor, confidence, and whatever.

    You will always feel like you’re at odds against the world because when you go out you will think that other people find you ugly. The way around this is to find something that you can bring to people that makes them happy. Find a way to make the people you meet happy. Whether by your craft, or just through great conversation.

    And if you can never do that…. if you always feel out of place, or second in life to everyone else who is not ugly, no matter how hard you try… then just give your heart and mind and soul to god. Become devoutly religious. Either that or consider suicide.

    I say this because you will *NEVER* be able to change your face, short of a technology miracle, and to live your life hating who you see in the mirror is no life at all. That is a living hell.

    I heard that telling your reflection how great and amazing you are EVERY day can eventually make you believe that it’s true. Not quite. Only success breeds confidence. You need to practice being successful at something until you DO experience success. Especially with women. Once you put in the time to practice, and experience success, THEN you can start telling your reflection how great and amazing you are and you *WILL* begin to believe it because you have ACTUAL PROOF to back it up.

    Tell your reflection in the mirror every day that you have the intellect and the strength to become confident and well spoken with women if you practice. Tell your reflection every day that you will practice. Say it with strength and confidence.

    Then PRACTICE IT, and make it TRUE.

    Then start telling yourself in the mirror every day how great and bad ass you are, when you do see the success.

    Then you’ll believe it.

    And don’t think that only ugly or unfortunate people talk to their reflections. The most beautiful and wealthiest people alive do it too.

    Your hideous face is a stamp from life telling you to be a winner; FORCING you to excel. It is the mark of someone who must overcome great obstacles, and is therefore the mark of someone WITH GREAT STRENGTH. You can devour these obstacles like a champion, or cower and crawl to a corner to die.

  17. on 28 Oct 2009 at 6:13 amTim.

    hi am attracitve. the problem uppo and man behind a mask are having, and solrac aswell is your general perspective on life. change it. the world can be a amazing place if thats what your looking for. Strive to be great at something.. bill gates is ugly but he gets the bitches.

    girls love fashion.. style.. get cool. confidence, grow some balls.

    to be honest, i never got girls until maybe 2-3 years ago, when i decided that i wouldnt let my appearence effect my confidence. and overtime, after working on puting myself in the most social places, and talking to people.. i began to notice people really did like me.

    I have bad, bad ance. like the kinda stuff people would stare or look away quickly. i soon found out that once i grew out of it.. and grew so balls (socially) girls were attracted to me regardless of my appearence. this go me more confident, and i develop my own taste in fashion, which now tons of women are allover me because the simple like the wat i dress

    so in conclusion… grow balls and strive to be a better person, and injoylife in the meantime… its not so ugly

  18. on 06 Dec 2009 at 1:11 amPhilosopher

    I’ve read every single comment, and I find it extremely interesting seeing humans talking and opening nothing but raw honesty. And i love it. You will not know how old, attractive/ugly, funny, confident, or anything else. I’ve spent years watching, studying, even reading these types of web blogs with human beings. I know it sounds weird when i say humans, being a human myself, but I’m trying to be a doctor examining a specie (humans) like one who would be observing any other specie.
    By far humans are the most interesting. I have literally been to the verge of suicide trying to understand the world, life, people, and reason for everything, no joke. I am no where close, yet in the same time I’m grasping it.

    It has been the most wanted, most needed, most popular, most overwhelming THING in history. It can take people to te darkest sides of the universe, yet others to feel the greatest feeling in existence. It has driven people to madness just grasp it, let alone understand it.

    It is infinite and what drives us. It is the accumulation of feelings and senses. It should be one of the human senses, but it is beyond us, beyond touch, hearing, smell, taste, and sight. It’s like a “Super Sense”. We cannot explain it, or describe it, everyone’s version of it is there own, but it is there.

    Now over here you are talking “men & women”. I don’t care for the topic whatsoever it is what of many insignificant thoughts and time people waste on. What I am interested in is how you humans have interacted in this blog. You want total honesty, you go to blogs.

    Upper, you are a very very sad man. And I am speaking of you, not your life. You are literally sad in emotions, which makes me sad for you are wasting such life, thoughts, and emotions, on such an insignificant reason. You say you are Aethiest, no problem with me but I will not say what I believe in. You speak of ugliness?

    I will give an answer to this, if people give me a response for the answer. For I will not give away such a wisdom filled answer unless people want to know and are actually listening. I have made years of studying coming up with such an answer. You can have if you ask.

  19. on 06 Dec 2009 at 11:27 amsolrac

    Philosopher, luckily I get email updates when someone writes here. So I am listening. I would love to hear your answer.

    Uppo, I hope you’re reading this. I hope you’re still alive. Please remember that women are different creatures than men. They are not driven by looks. They are driven by emotion. You can maximize your looks. Eat tons of protein and push weight. Go to tanning beds. Wear awesome hats or wigs. Get awesome outfits. You can catch a girl’s eye. Then in that moment…. In that INSTANT… you return a cool, confident gaze with a smile, and approach and start a conversation… she will fall for you, or at least respect you greatly.

    Man behind a mask, smile. Smile and talk to 1000 girls. (3 girls per night for a year. Or 33 girls per night for a month.) Always smile. Walk tall and proud, with relaxed body language. You’ll see your looks mean very little.

    Read these books and master them:
    “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, by Dale Carnegie
    “The Game”, by Neil Strauss

    Do you know why you’re not confident? It’s because you haven’t had success with women. The only thing on this earth that will give you confidence is success. Success breeds confidence. Even if you have to talk to 1000 girls to have one successful encounter, it’s worth it because that success will motivate you and make you confident. But you can’t stop there. Talk to 1000 more. Your success and confidence will build on itself. It is cumulative. Soon your success will be constant and your confidence boundless.

    Uppo, you say that you realize your dreams and fantasies will never come true because you’ve resigned yourself to this belief based on your looks. But if you mastered the art of people skills you could have just one conversation one day… Just one. It could be with a rich guy who wants to invest into your business idea. Or a beautiful girl who respects you immensely due to your confidence and charm despite your unconventional look. But the key is to have fun with the 1000 fruitless conversations that came before.

    Breaking peoples expectations is sexy. It’s awesome. It’s the definition of a punchline.

    Why can’t you be buff, tan, stylish, and charming, to where whatever imperfections you think you have don’t matter anymore? Just eat, lift weight, eat, get sun, invest money in clothes and accessories…. And practice, practice practice.

    Philosopher, please provide your answer!

  20. on 06 Dec 2009 at 1:44 pmPhilosopher

    Thank you solrac, please no offense, but you are absolutely wrong in your advice for Upper. But you, like most of the Westernized human population think too hard and too simply.
    What I am trying to say is that to be able to come to an answer to anything troubling you, you need to look passed the roots. You humans only look at the root of an issue, but the true answer lies passed the roots and even passed the seed. Some people just cannot leading them to total insanity. That is when Philosophers come in hand, they look at everything beyond the seed, they think in a twisted world.

    So leading to my answer, look BEYOND the reason. The reason being “Why do you care?”
    CARE, that is the answer, to care or not to care. Some people might say caring to a part of confidence. It is absolutely not. When you think none of it matters, that is how I think. If it comes it comes, and if it does not, it does not. The universe infinity more significant than this issue which you have.

    Unlike this “confidence” that people talk about so much, you do not have to practice at caring. It comes whenever you WANT it to.
    If you want to care about it, care about it, if you don’t, don’t.
    But once you stop caring that is when you entire life turn around. It is much easier than you think to, “terminate” the chemicals in or brain and body which urge you to care, about such a stupid screwed up issue. When I say ‘Just don’t care.” people it’s not as easy as I say. But it is, you can wake up tomorrow and not care.
    JUST DON”T CARE !!!!!
    Think yourself the until it get welded into your brain.

    Finally once you stop caring, and feeling sorry for yourself.
    I promise you, with every single fiber of my body that you shall be the happiest man on Earth. Everything will come to you.

    Don’t turn your head when a girl with a sexy ass walks by you, and laugh at the every typical male who would and does.
    You will become a shining magnet to people. Because every typical human cares and you have been “brain washed” and told your entire life that “YOU HAVE TO CARE!”. And that is why you are so wrong solrac, you advice was just telling him to care, “do this, do that, wear this, wear that, be like this, be like that”
    Also very important, it will not work if you force yourself to not care. Just naturally don’t care, let it flow, let life flow, don’t stress, just relax. And what comes to you, comes to you. If nothing comes just flow with it. Although I have promised you good things will come, that is not the point, whatsoever, a matter of fact that goes totally against what I’m telling you.
    Straight and simple, if you actually, originally, naturally don’t care. And nothing happens, it doesn’t matter, BECAUSE YOU JUST DON”T GIVE A SHIT! And if something comes (and it will) just flow with it, “whatever”, just a bonus. I am not saying, that you should not care about life, just don’t care about anything which stresses you and does not actually matter. Which is what you were complaining about, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Definatly care about what you have right now (family, friends, bla, bla, bla, you know…) And what ever else you are going to get, care about it, once you have it.

    Always think to yourself (this is for everyone):
    “Does it really matter?” and go passed the seed to understand. As I do.

  21. on 06 Dec 2009 at 5:25 pmM

    You assume to have understood the meaning of life and “what really matters”. The truth is, as humans, no one really understands why we’re here and what we want. Even the most actualized human beings have doubts, fears and cares. To stop caring altogether as you say (no matter how many times repeated to yourself) is far, far easier said than done. People have an intrinsic need to be wanted and accepted. I do agree that to try and stop caring about the small daily things that make us upset is the way to go but to try and stop the very nature of our humanity is nearly impossible.

  22. on 06 Dec 2009 at 8:28 pmsolrac

    Philosopher, you are absolutely right: to an extent.

    21, it is true you cannot stop the very nature of our humanity. And philosopher, you shouldn’t have to do that all!

    But you are right; an amazing person once told me: the less you care about someone the more they will want you.

    Those who care too much fall into despair. Those who care too little, as you suggest, could become bums, or lose their purpose. Buddha taught the middle way. Take the middle road. Balance.

    I suggested that Uppo get buff, tan, a stylish wig or hat, and nice clothes because he himself complained about being the opposite. And let’s face it. Being fit is healthy. Sun is healthy. Fashion is appealing and interesting. He should have fun with those things. But too much is bad. Too much sun = cancer.

    This is just common sense. You should cut your nails, take a shower, and brush your teeth because you care about your image. Fashion is a more subtle skill and can be taught, and can be appreciated just the same.

    But if you get rejected by a girl and you beat yourself up over it, call yourself names, and curse, then you care too much. In that case, not giving a fuck is the answer! Don’t fucking care! Move on. Get more experience. Have fun.

    Good luck gents

  23. on 06 Dec 2009 at 8:31 pmPhilosopher

    M (no disrespect),
    You have not understood anything I wrote. You either just skimmed through it or skipped sections or you just simply did not understand.
    I said at one point in one of my two answer blogs that understanding the universe and the meaning of life is infinite, trying to understand it would drive one to insanity. I mentioned, I myself have gone to the verge of taking my own life, just to end the unstoppable flow of thoughts and questions. I also mentioned that I am not close to understanding the meaning of life (for it is infinite). But I admit with no modesty that I understand immensely more than normal humans.
    And for caring I will not explain myself, because I explained everything you said. You just did not understand. I absolutely did not say anything about not caring about life, a matter of I went against that. I do not understand where you got that I said, to not care about life. Not caring about life, is a ghost with no soul.
    I’m sorry, it also might be that, I write very weird, but if you don’t understand what I say, don’t answer, just ask. And I have a lot of grammar mistakes, so bare with me, for I write in a rush most of the time.
    And next time please read and understand properly, before answering. Please just ask me, if you do not understand something, and I will be more than happy to answer your question in full detail.

  24. on 06 Dec 2009 at 8:45 pmPhilosopher

    solrac (no disrespect),
    You are quite interesting. You are the kind of people I like to hang around with, with all of your goodness. But, I have observed what you write and what you mean with your answers. You are a very dull and simple person. Yet very nice and positive.
    I am trying to say this in the simplest way possible, you are dumb, but a great person!
    Nor do you understand what I say, for you even partially agree with M.
    And M is way off with understanding what the meaning of my answer blogs are.

  25. on 06 Dec 2009 at 8:47 pmPhilosopher

    And solrac, I love how you try to agree with both of us!

  26. on 06 Dec 2009 at 9:47 pmM

    Although, after rereading, your comment I find myself mistaken in some aspects of mine (I apologize) I see that in others I was not. You say “no disrespect” yet you do just that. No need to insult solrac for stating his opinion. Your arrogance is insulting. You call him “boring and simple” after saying he is someone you’d like to hang out with. Although you claim to have studied people and human life, others opinions should not be shat on. They are just important as yours and should be valued as such. No harm in a debate but name calling is juvenile.

  27. on 07 Dec 2009 at 8:26 amPhilosopher

    When I say “no direspect” it means no hate intended by me, I have no negative feelings towards you or solrac personally. You have not offended me in any way, but I may have offended solrac and you. I definitely have arrogance, but with good reasoning. I do not regret anything I said for it is the truth.
    When I say solrac is a person I would like to be around it is true. I did not say he was boring(once again you did not understand), if you are referring to when I said he was dull I meant with his ideas and thoughts not his personality. And he is a very positive and a nice guy which goes a long way to being a simple. If someone is not the smartest, that does not mean they cant be a great person, and I love having good people around me, everyone does.
    Now please, enough of talking about each other that is not the point, we got off track.

  28. on 07 Dec 2009 at 8:30 amPhilosopher

    Also M, could you tell me, in what aspects were you not agreeable with me. Because you mentioned the you re-read and found some to be mistaken by you first judgment, and others to still be not mistaken.
    Please elaborate.

  29. on 07 Dec 2009 at 11:01 amsolrac

    Wow what a douche, lol!

    I can just picture this tortured kid on the verge of suicide, trying to ram his philosophy of life down the throats of blog readers in his “answer blogs” (they’re called comments, dick.)

    But props on the most extreme backhanded compliment combo I’ve ever heard! “You’re interesting! Just the kind of people I like to hang out with! But you’re dull and simple. But nice and positive! You’re, let’s see… Just plain dumb. But a great person!” LOL!!

    If you’re for real, the only advice I have for you is here:

    Yes; you can contribute to humanity by improving the gene pool today! ;-)

  30. on 07 Dec 2009 at 3:52 pmM

    There is no good reason for arogance. It is a personal fault that should be dealt with. As for how I am right in my first assumption, to be honest, I just don’t have the time to volley and defend my opinion with you if you keep backtracking. You didn’t offend me in the slightest, I assure you.
    By the way, dull=boring=uninteresting they are all synonyms. Clearly you did say it.
    I’m done now. Have a nice life

  31. on 07 Dec 2009 at 4:27 pmPhilosopher

    I am sorry, again, that offended you.

  32. on 07 Dec 2009 at 4:34 pmPhilosopher

    Than I am very sorry just to you solrac. You and M are both correct, I was being blinded by my arrogance.
    I as well am done. Respect. Peace. Love.

  33. on 07 Dec 2009 at 6:47 pmsolrac

    Apology accepted

    I hope Uppo is still alive, that’s all

  34. on 27 Mar 2010 at 9:28 amAlphagame

    I don’t have the problems listed above, but what I have concluded is that, without any doubt, hot women act different. I was divorced 3 years ago, and have embarked on a number of self improvement journeys, from clothing to voice tone, body language and especially diet & gym & six pack abs. Now days, women routinely tell me I’m hot. I get it all the time. But what I can also tell you is that I’ve never had a hot a hot girlfriend. I go to social places, and women do everything to get me to talk to them. They ‘accidentally’ rub their body against mine when I’m standing at the bar and they place their drink. But one commonality is, their willingness to stay and talk is directly proportional to their beauty level. With ugly women, I can use the lamest lines in the world, like “What’s that drink?” and the next thing you know, I’ve been in conversation with her for an hour. But when I do the same thing with hot women, of I allow the conversation to lull, they simply will not work to keep the conversation going. The hot ones are always walking away with their drink in under 5 minutes, regardless of what I say or how well my attempt at conversation is going. I just want to meet one hot girl who acts like an ugly girl.

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