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cleavage vs crack

Paul writes:

Why is it that two pieces of flesh pushed together on a woman is called cleavage, but on a plumber is called a crack?

Generally speaking, cleavage is considered a good thing. While “plumbers crack” (which is not to be confused with crack cocaine) is considered a bad thing.

I don’t want to outright say one is better than the other. But let’s face it. If you had to live the rest of your life with one or the other; which would you choose? I think it’s obvious that we would all choose cleavage. This includes the ladies.

Let me explain.

If we were to take a step back from this situation and look at it from a metaphorical perspective. We have cleavage, which represents a life giving and life sustaining element. Without this element (s) all babies would wane and die (this is bad because we all start as babies).

On the other end (quite literally), we have the crack. This would be the step-child-relative to the exit point for all things (generally speaking) undesirable.

Some skeptics might raise the point that a baby is brought into this world very near to this so called “undesirable” exit point. I recognize this ironic twist, but I have no explanation. A design flaw perhaps; unlikely, I cannot imagine the baby port of entry (into the world) being located anywhere else without it being … awkward.

I realize this does not answer your question.

As life and the world evolve certain rivalries begin. Many ages ago cleavage and crack had a misunderstanding. Ever since then there has been an undercurrent of disdain between the two rivalries.

The tension is all building up to an epic battle; one which will fill the streets with the blood of their hosts. It is likely that humanity will be exterminated (unintentionally) as a result of this unavoidable war.

Read it in the bathroom! Print It! Read it in the bathroom! Print It!

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3 Responses to “A Womans Cleavage vs. A Plumbers Cleavage”

  1. on 21 Dec 2007 at 7:12 amAmy

    Perhaps if the said “crack” was viewed from the other direction (which I understand is not possible unless daisy dukes are being worn and who wants to see a man in those? Not I!) the nether regions view would too be referred to as “cleavage” Viewing just the top portion of this region hanging out often sloppy pants is not an appealing site. However I would argue that the full view (say watching one’s love depart the hot tub before them) is quite an enjoyable sight. I think it’s all in the amount of ampleness being shown. Yes, I am an active participant in the art of appreciation this world throws into our view.

  2. on 29 Dec 2007 at 12:30 pmcassie

    what about ass chest? when the boobs are so ginormous that when put in a bra, they look like an ass?
    i like the snow falling, it’s cute.

  3. on 09 Mar 2008 at 7:59 pmSangrail

    Actually, the Ass came first.
    Remember Baboons, with their big red butts? Yep, the ass is usually the primary primate sexual signal.
    So.
    We started standing up, ass is no longer eye level, what happens?
    The slight visual similarity of breasts slightly engorged with milk, causes the sexual cues to be transferred, and fat deposits in the region become a selected for sexual trait.
    There’s no actual reason for their size – check out the boobs, or rather, lack of them, in monkeys. Being an A-cup has no real impact on milk production.

    So, breasts are actually a butt-substitute.

    By the way, talk to a gay man and find out whether they prefer butt crack or cleavage.
    Or even, toned butt crack versus saggy cleavage. That ain’t apples with apples!

    (Not to mention, you thought plumbers crack was bad?
    You’re a fortunately soul that you haven’t see (male) Plumbers Cleavage.
    The jiggling. Oh god. Sadly, a bra would probably heighten the visual effect. Corsetry?)

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