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Overly Friendgenic

smiling girl

Meg wrote:

I am really good at meeting people and making them like me, but after I have talked to them for a bit, I have no desire to form a friendship. These are nice people, and I could have tons of friends, but I don’t have any interest. People often think I am their best friend, and this surprises me, because I think of them as an acquaintance.

What’s wrong with me?

You specifically point out something is wrong with you. I’ll also approach this as your problem.

Off the top of my head, here are a few things that could potentially be wrong with you…

  • You meet people
  • You make like
  • You have no desire
  • You talk to nice people
  • You’re a poor friend

You said…

I am really good at meeting people

This may be your primary fault. The problem appears to only affect you when you interact with other people. Stop doing this and the problem dissipates almost immediately.

You said…

…making them like me…

Alright so you are forcing them to like you. Do you employ strictly psychological tactics, or are you also open to physical manipulation as well?

You said…

…I have no desire…

Desire is an integral part of any success. Without a desire to succeed, you may forever languish in a stagnant state. Which in this case would entail a large number of people whom you consider associates, but they consider you to be their best friend.

You said…

These are nice people…

Perhaps you need to focus more on talking to mean people. This would provide less chance of your connecting with these people, which would of course lead to less situations where they feel a friendship is born, and you feel nothing of the sort.

You said…

People often think I am their best friend…

You could use this to your advantage. Perhaps if you were to just go with the flow, and be their best friend, you would find great rewards follow. After all, our ability to succeed in life is often effected by our ability to accept the help of others. And that help is rarely offered by strangers, but is frequently offered by friends.

In the end, if it were to be my guess (because you don’t specifically provide any information that would suggest this) that the majority of these individuals you are referring to are guys. The sad reality is just that each of these men hold an agenda; this being to pursue you in a “relationship” type of way; let your imagination take the lead on that one.

Perhaps after all is said and done, its possible that this conflict is not all your fault. But the combination of your being nice, and they being overly eager.

Title image used with permission and courtesy of Alexandra, check out the original here.

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