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Feed on

conflict part I
Conflict, we all know its there. Every morning we wake up, conflict looms in our distant future. It first starts with your feet. Which one do you favor? Will it be your left or your right? Luckily this type of conflict is easily resolved via your brain’s autopilot.

The next conflict you may encounter; should I brush my teeth? I don’t know, I don’t feel like it, but they probably need it (gives a toothy grin to the mirror). Do you think anyone will notice if I don’t brush?

Probably not, but you never know, you might have one of those awkward close encounters. Like when you’re pulling files out of the bottom drawer of a company filing cabinet. Finally locating your file you are inspecting it as you swing both up and around to head back to your cube.

This is when you find your face merely inches from another person. It may be the lonely guy in the cube next to the water cooler. In the moment you realize what is happening you receive two alert signals, one arriving just milliseconds before the other. The first is (depending on the other party) a foul stench. The types of stench only throats know. And they know this due to their unfortunate role as the funnel between our mouths and our stomachs. Then, within that same moment, your eyes will be pulled from the document, and hone in on this unfamiliar object.

The moment breaks as you quickly backpedal, mumbling a small “excuse me”. Or not, he is after all, the lonely guy in the cube next to the water cooler.

Snap back to present moment.

You decide, yes, you should brush your teeth. But now you need to decide whether or not you will floss?

Your dentist tells you to. But then again they have been telling you this for how many years now? Will they really stop if you start flossing?

Probably not, you decide against flossing.

Again, not a difficult conflict to overcome and likely one that is solved via autopilot.

The next conflict, do you eat breakfast or not?

You do have a deep seeded fear of fat. And eating means more fat for your body right? That’s wrong, but at the time you don’t know it, you continue considering. No, you’ll not eat. Plus, whenever you do have breakfast, you’re always more hungry at lunch time than when you do not eat. But on the other hand the hours previous to lunch time are not spent with painful stomach sensations.

Whatever, food is out, conflict resolved.

You get into your car, start the engine and begin backing out of your covered parking spot. Suddenly you slam on your breaks.


You forgot to shower. Quickly you smell your armpits. Eh, they don’t smell much worse than when you woke up. You smell again, better safe than sorry. You pull back into your parking spot and run into the house; returning only after a quick visit with the deodorant bar.

Again, you get into your car, start the engine and begin backing out of your covered parking spot. You decide its cold, and activate the heater. The engine isn’t warm yet, you turn off the heater. The conflict is killing you.

You are now huddled, driving with one hand. Your thoughts are still slow. You stayed up too late and didn’t eat, nor shower. Its okay, by the time you get to work, you’ll be fine.

Pulling out of your complex onto the street you narrowly miss oncoming traffic. Why did you pull out? You’re not late. It’s a dangerous road, there is always heavy traffic. The sound of a honking horn is still echoing in your head. You merge with traffic headed toward work.

Halfway to work you run into traffic. More conflict. Do you wait it out, maybe it’s just a small holdup. Or do you find another route?

You turn right, onto a smaller side street. You’ll find another route.

Along the way you are feeling better about the day. Your fellow commuters are left back in the traffic jam, while you are still making good progress toward work.

The road takes a lazy bend to the right and as you come around you find a school bus which has stopped to pick up a long line of children.

The conflict, do you wait, or do you go around the bus? If you wait, you’ll be a lawful citizen. It’s illegal to pass a school bus on pickup duty. You decide to pass and you gun it moving around the bus.

To Be Continued…

Continued in Part II.

Title image used with permission and courtesy of Epiphany, check out the original here.

Read it in the bathroom! Print It! Read it in the bathroom! Print It!

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2 Responses to “A Speculation On The Premise Of Your Demise (Part I)”

  1. […] up from where we left off in Part I; Be sure to read Part […]

  2. […] up from where we left off in Part II; Be sure to read Part II. And Part I before […]

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