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Kurt Cobain
Have you ever wondered if Kurt Cobain and that one teenager are friends right now?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here is a little background info in my own words. Kurt Cobain was discovered dead on April 8th 1994. Two days later, on April 10th, a vigil was held in his honor at the Seattle Center. From what I understand, after this event a teen fan of Kurt went home and killed himself. Often when the subject of Kurt’s suicide comes up, someone mentions the one fan that killed himself shortly after Kurt. This is the fan they are referencing. This is also the fan I’m discussing today.

Alright, on with the Meanderment.

Though the actual description and likeness of the world or existence after death is often disputed; most will agree there is a life after death. Let’s just assume there is a life after death for this one.

In his final days Kurt Cobain was addicted to heroin. A number of reasons are speculated to have driven him to this; the one cited (and technically not speculation) by Kurt himself was his chronic stomach pain. Kurt found release from this pain through heroin.

Meanwhile, no matter how good heroin makes you feel. It inevitably destroys everything around you. This includes friends, family, jobs, health, hygiene, emotions and feelings.

By all accounts Kurt was pretty miserable in those last few days. It also makes sense that these same elements which make up ones personality would follow them through to the next plain of existence.

This is all speculation.

When Kurt found himself in spirit form (or next life form, whatever you believe) and still depressed, it was probably pretty depressing for him. I know I would be. Not only that, but it’s not likely that there is heroin in the hereafter.

Now on the one hand, Kurt is technically a spirit. Which means those ailments from his physical body are no longer afflicting him. I would guess this includes the impulse of addiction. But what if your personality can become addicted? Does that even make sense? I’m not sure.

Let’s not address the physical pains and addictions. I think it’s safe to assume that in the next life our personalities are in-tact and our dispositions etc are in full effect.

I don’t know if Kurt was the type to be angry, but I wouldn’t blame him if he were. Chronic pain is nothing to scoff at. Regardless, he is now dead and still depressed.

Now, to simplify this discussion lets just assume that the next life also has some sort of “time” element. After a bit of this being dead thing, along comes this kid.

(Again, this is total speculation and inaccurate speculation at best)

This kid is depressed too, he is also sad, and angry (apparently everyone is angry after they die, according to me). This kid brightens up when he sees Kurt and introduces himself etc etc. The conversation goes something like this…

Teen Fan: Kurt!
Kurt: huh?
Teen Fan: Dude I just killed myself…
Kurt: why?
Teen Fan: Well you did, and you’re my hero, and that sucks that you’re dead
Kurt: Oh, yeah, I dunno man, you probably shouldn’t have
Teen Fan: But, I love you man!
Kurt: I’m just sayin

Okay, so it probably didn’t go anything like that, but think about it, what do you say in a situation like that? You’ve just killed yourself, and along comes someone much younger than yourself, claiming to have killed themself because you killed yourself.

Awkward.

After the awkwardness, do they hang out? As the saying goes, misery loves company, so let’s assume that they do hang out. Is this kid included when Kurt goes to hang out with his other celebrity friends (Abe Lincoln, Tu Pac, et cetera**). I would think that Kurt would include the kid in these social events. It would be weird having to explain why that one guy is always lurking outside.

I was unable to find any details on this teen fan who killed himself following Kurt’s suicide. But what if he was a musician as well? And in the afterlife they started a new rocker band. But this one is still going, because you can’t kill yourself in the afterlife. That would be sweet; I hope they have lots of new records released by the time I make it to their part of the woods.

* Disclaimer: This is intended to be read after the article. If you’ve not read it yet, that’s fine too.

This writing is not discussing whether or not Kurt Cobain was murdered. On April 10, a public vigil was held for Cobain at a park at Seattle Center. After which a teen went home and killed himself. This is the teen most often referred too in the writings about Kurt Cobain’s suicide. In my other reading I’ve come across some references that indicate as many as 68 kids killed themselves as a result of Kurt’s suicide. I was not aware of this at the time I decided to write this, it changes things a little, but I’m going to continue and recognize mainly this one teenager.

** Southpark has an episode that depicts Kurt Cobain hanging out with Abe Lincoln among other significant figures in the afterlife (but I think Tu Pac may have been my own addition, someone fill me in please).

Title image used with permission and courtesy of Dave Torowski, check out the original here.

Read it in the bathroom! Print It! Read it in the bathroom! Print It!

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2 Responses to “Kurt Cobain Buddy in the Afterlife”

  1. on 07 Nov 2007 at 10:59 amblackmat

    that one teen is probably pretty pissed about the other 68 kids stealing his thunder. finally he figures out a way to stand above the rest and get kurt to acknowledge his dying loyalty only for him to fall victim once again to habitual existence and be lost amongst the crowd of cobain worshipers. how could he not be upset?

  2. on 07 Nov 2007 at 11:29 pmStephen

    lol! thats an awesome angle I hadn’t considered. Really though, i laughed when I read your comment.

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