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The Eye of Time Travel

Mark wrote:

This question is a two part question – in regards to time travel, mankind, and history.

If one wanted, could they go back in time and sleep with as many women as possible to effect the world population into one race (going to the beginning and not being racist)?

If yes, then has someone already gone back?

if that is the case, do the chinese and indians have a time machine?

If no, then do you think that for time travel, there would be time travel style? Like i would travel in a DeLorian and Jennifer L. from the block would drive a small time travel pod?

Yes, if one had the desire (and time-travel was available to him) he could make an attempt of increasing his specific race by impregnating as many women as possible.

The problem with this plan is that no matter how much effort he applies to this endeavor. He will be unable to sway the numbers to any large degree.

This is making a large number of assumptions.

  • He is just a guy going back in time, with his only object to conceive as many children as possible.
  • He is older (early thirties) as it is highly likely that the task of discovering time travel is a difficult one.
  • He did not travel back in time to his younger self and provide the secret to time travel.

Part of the problem with answering your question is that “the beginning” is somewhat subjective.

Some believe the beginning started with in the Garden of Eden. Still others believe we evolved from little bugs (my technical term is subjective) in the sea eventually ending up on the shores in some mammal form eventually flopping out to a form of naked caveman.

So if the Adam and Eve scenario is to be believed it would be much easier to execute your plan because you’d only have to take out one guy (Adam) and impregnate one woman (Eve).

However, as the story goes, God placed an angel at the gate of the Garden of Eden. Despite how highly I speak of ninja’s; getting past an angel appointed of God makes getting past a ninja seem like child’s play in comparison. Plus, even though he (or she) didn’t need it, the angel likely had a sword. And it probably was imbued with lightning or fire, something really menacing.

This does not even take into account how the other races became. I’ve not researched this at all, so it’s likely there is a simple explanation. But how did all these races “happen” anyway? If Adam and Eve were the first two (regardless of what they themselves were) whatever they produced would all be the same, technically … So even if that angel at the gate were not there, and you managed to off Adam, and Eve still liked you enough to have your kids (I am assuming you’d take the time to romance her, you are after all not a barbarian) this still leaves the event (whatever it may be) that created all these diverse kind of people. Maybe its just human DNA, the more duplicates that are made, the more micro-changes occur, thus races. I digress.

With that in mind, lets for the sake of feasibility, assume that we evolved from little micro-organisms in the ocean.

With this theory, I’m guessing that it was not just one micro-organism that made it to land (in evolution form), but rather, a great amount. This means there is a significant saturation of cavemen on planet earth.

May I point out, that there is the remote chance that once you arrive in 1,500,000 B.C. (depending on the source you reference) the women of that time may effectively shock your body into a permanent case of E.D.. This of course would cause a great amount of awkwardness in your attempts to reproduce, not to mentioned the decidedly reduced efficiency of your new situation. Oh, and this is also assuming you can handle the alpha male of that time period. They are always portrayed as being strong.

Let’s just assume you’re a stout individual and despite the unappealing appearance of these pre-historic women, you set about the task of multiplying your seed.

Who is to say your sperm will even know what to do? It may get in there, and be like “wtf mate?”; being lost in the primitive plumbing of your newly found child facilitators.

Given the length of this response, I’ll post part 2 in my next Ponderment.

Submit your own Ponderment requests HERE.

Title image used with permission and courtesy of Jonathan T. Parsons, check out the original here.

Read it in the bathroom! Print It! Read it in the bathroom! Print It!

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10 Responses to “Time Travel And World Population (Part I)”

  1. on 15 Oct 2007 at 8:55 amjp

    I believe the Mark’s question is a idealistic question. The chances of him remotely impregnating a female in the beginning of time is absurd.
    His genetics alone would be very very different than those genetics of a million years ago. He would start a chain reaction of events that would possibly be very catastrophic for mankind. Mark’s genetics would have be pure and clean, if he chooses to start a race of Marks’. …and the likelyhood of whores and sluts existing 1million years, is also absurd. Going back in time to start a new race is very catastrophic.
    The theory of time travel is not about having sex with as many women as you can, Its based on learning past and future knowledge, understanding what could of or would of happened.
    Remember with time travel, one wrong move could open Pandora’s Box, and your demise will be eminent.

  2. on 15 Oct 2007 at 6:14 pmMarcus

    I agree with JP on this one, you can’t just go around doing whatever you want with time travel. So, if you plan on impregnating women of the past… First you need to do your research. Maybe tranquilize one of the neanderthals, take an embryotic sample and use that in your experiments to see if offspring is feasable, because let’s be honest, you don’t want to be the reason for trisomy 21 or Klinefelter’s syndrome, but assuming that the more primitive members of the homo genus (homo sapiens, homo erectus, homo floresiensis etc.) were just that (more primitive) it would make sense that they weren’t as monogomous, and commonly fell victim to their primal urges… I’ll leave the rest of that up to your imaginations.

    @Stephen, let’s be serious, if you’re gonna time travel, you’re gonna need to take a gun with you, preferably a very big gun, because no matter how badly you screw up the present, if you’re dead there’s no way that you’ll be able to go back and fix it.

  3. on 15 Oct 2007 at 6:15 pmMarcus

    So… that means you shouldn’t have any problem taking out the ‘alpha male.’

  4. on 15 Oct 2007 at 7:30 pmStephen

    jp said:

    The theory of time travel is not about having sex with as many women as you can, Its based on learning past and future knowledge, understanding what could of or would of happened.

    This highlights one of the more entertaining aspects our species. No matter what noble intentions encourage an invention, there is always an equal amount of bad/evil/whatever-you-want-to-call-it that can be inflicted or created with this new invention. I’m pretty sure its a universal law. An element cannot exist that can do good without being equally capable of doing that same amount of bad.

    Not to say your wrong or anything, just adding to the conversation.

    Marcus said:

    @Stephen, let’s be serious, if you’re gonna time travel, you’re gonna need to take a gun with you, preferably a very big gun, because no matter how badly you screw up the present, if you’re dead there’s no way that you’ll be able to go back and fix it.

    You make an astute point. If i were in the position of the time traveler. I’d definitely be traveling to the future in order to first obtain a weapon with which to companion myself in my journeys back in time.

    I’d also pick up some sweet computer hardware while I was at it.

  5. on 16 Oct 2007 at 6:38 pmV

    as a friend of mark’s i would just like to testify that he would be able to impregnate any woman he wanted, in whatever time he wanted, in whatever position he wanted, because he is just that baller

  6. on 16 Oct 2007 at 7:15 pmStephen

    @V: I do not believe JP or Marcus were calling into question Marks ability to impregnate every woman his heart desires. Rather, they were questioning the havoc that is theoretically likely to ensue upon doing so.

    Either way, I believe Mark was looking at this as an experiment (an attempt to alter the dominance/population of one race over its current form). And in the name of science, it should be done. Just be sure to document the proceedings and results in detail. It would be a shame to obliterate our species (in current form) without any tangible benefit (scientific data).

  7. on 18 Oct 2007 at 8:30 pmMarcus

    First of all, I don’t know how to do the quotes on here, I know it has something to do with some html that I have forgotten, and yes… I AM ashamed of myself (either for having known it originally, or for forgetting it take your pick). Second of all, if you kids are referring to me please use my given name… “Marcus”… just so there is no confusion, because the “Mark” that originally posed the question is a different person, thank you (that was mostly for “V” in hopes that she was actually talking about me). Now, with that being said, I would like to assert the fact that time travel is completely subjective, one could do with it whatever he/she pleases, in the same way that you could do whatever you please with the time in any given day. It really all depends on who discovers time travel first, and what kind of person they are.

    Now I would like to move everyone’s attention to the theory of evolution. If in fact you were successful in traveling back to a period when there were fewer humans, or more generally, members of the homo genus… homogeneous hahaha… no time for that now… and you were successful in procreating with one or more of the females of this more primitive ‘tribe’ of our ancestors. The truth is that it would be highly likely that you wouldn’t have any effect on the color of the skin of any people, the color of our skin would be a direct effect of evolution… or de-evolution, depending on how you look at it.

    This brings me to my next point, since we are technically no longer the same species as our ancestors, it’s possible that by initiating intercourse with one of the females that the offspring would not actually survive. Yet another possibility is that the offspring would be sterile because of a difference in the genetic makeup of each ‘species’ which is most commonly the case when a male donkey reproduces with a female of its close cousin the horse. I however do not believe that you are a jackass and as such your offspring would probably not be sterile, and you obviously aren’t sleeping with monkeys now, so you’re probably not gonna go for that big of a stretch a few million years ago… when you travel there… in the future. Back to the matter at hand.

    Evolution is generally triggered by some sort of need, and it is generally (according to Darwin) spurred by a ‘natural selection’ scenario. I’ll explain this briefly. Mutations occur in genetics all the time, but the good mutations that help an individual survive longer will be passed on because this individual is around longer to reproduce, and its offspring survive more as well. Now that this is out in the open I’ll go ahead and tell you why I brought this up.

    Homo Sapiens haven’t really been subject to this kind of ‘natural selection’ for quite some time, and as such I believe that we are actually de-evolving, and have been for thousands of years. For example, the appendix and the tail-bone have no apparent use, but some scientists believe that we used to have tails that would have aided us, and the appendix helped to digest certain foods. It’s also plausible to believe that our ancestors were covered with more hair once. In any case, beneficial qualities like strength and dexterity no longer aid in survival, even the weak and the… uh… not dextrous survive because there aren’t many threats to humans inside a city. In most species a congenital birth defect would almost always lead to an early death because any antelope that is born deaf or with one leg shorter than the others is the most likely to be eaten by a cheetah, or a myopic water buffalo will have a difficult time seeing an alligator swimming straight for it. Some people may argue that our brains are evolving and we are becoming more intelligent, but there is no evidence of this, we all came out of the womb babbling like idiots, the only difference is the information that has been collected and passed down.

    Essentially what I’m trying to say is that these negative traits, or the code for them in your DNA would be passed to the offspring of these early ancestors, and create an entirely new species that is superior, survives better and is ‘naturally selected’ and outlives the other members of the ‘tribe.’ Thus; eliminating the previous species and setting evolution off on an entirely new course. Or; (and I actually believe this is more likely) the offspring would be predisposed to congenital defects that are in our DNA leading to their early demise, and thus nullifying your efforts to reproduce in this time frame.

  8. on 18 Oct 2007 at 8:39 pmStephen

    Mark poses a question resulting in a 635 word response from Stephen.
    Marcus throws in his two cents resulting in a 806 word comment.

    Touché.

  9. […] sure to read Part I of this […]

  10. […] p.m. and just now finished at 12:00 a.m. Thats one and a half hours. You can read the Ponderment here. The topic I spoke on was time travel, and of course, time travel is a subject with much to cover. […]

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