Ponder Place

This is a blog posted by permission from its writer. Below it is my response.

I often feel that relationships at our age, in this moment of our lives, can be restraining. I see how common it is for people to find their way through the acceptance of the opposite gender, and it makes me upset at the fact that we need this acceptance to feel normal, whatever that means. I have recently realized this personally. I have found that I seem to be completely dependent on the feelings and acceptance of another, and in this dependency I have realized that I may have feelings far beyond that of a friendship. Is that what love, or even the stepping stone to love, entails? Are we supposed to feel the need to mold ourselves to fit in harmony with each other? Or do we fight the urge and stay true to ourselves, forever risking the failing of yet another possible relationship? And should I even be thinking this big about something that can’t possibly affect me so strongly at my young age? I think I am completely head over heels for this guy, but I wonder if my feelings for him go against what I have, so far, believed in…

because now I’m believing in him.

A subject of this caliber is vast and difficult to capture in just a few experiences.

It seems to me that human beings have a natural dependency on the acceptance of others. Even though we have priorities and agendas (in general). Aside from those needs for survival (food, shelter, etc), it is king among our objectives to be accepted by those with whom we associate.

This is especially true in such an environment as yours (school). I would suggest instead of fearing the urge of your feeling the need to be accepted, be weary of whom it is you feel you must be accepted by.

Is love something that can be defined? Poetry aside (as that sounds a little mushy/poetic) love is something that scientists and scholars can try to define, but it is intangible. And because of this, those who seek to give it definite explanation will always fail.

In regard to your questioning the molding of yourself to another for fear of a broken relationship, well, consider this; a failed relationship is one relationship closer to the one that’s going to work. ;) You can quote me on that.

You shouldn’t avoid relationships just because you don’t like the part where they don’t work, and it hurts splitting that one off. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to get to the point where you are capable of sustaining that one relationship that lasts forever.

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Title image used with permission and courtesy of Doreen, check out the original here.