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girl vs guy
Dating is hard. When a man dates a woman, it’s the equivalent of him playing Craps, easy right? Except he is blindfolded, and the dealer is a mute.

That’s right, it is hazardous.

In order to provide a full story, I’ll have to admit. I’ve not always been a man. Not to say I’m a transvestite. Instead I’m saying that before becoming a man, I was a boy.

For the purpose of this writing, let’s define what I mean when I refer to a man, and when I refer to a boy.

A man dates women – well a real man marries a woman – but that subject encompasses more than this writing can sustain.

A man has made the plunge; he has set himself at the table of Craps, stoutly fastened the blindfold, and says in a James Bond esque voice “deal” (or whatever phrase they really use in that situation).

A boy plays videogames. A boy hangs out with his buddies. A boy eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. A boy is one who has yet to encounter the stutter inducing, heart clenching fear of women. A boy does not experience the anxiety of the questions with no answers. A boy is stress free.

A boy heeds only one female voice, that of his mother. A boy lives life on the edge; an edge with pillows and marshmallows to cushion any misstep.

A boy has yet to experience the horrid raging of hormones. With gnashing teeth and beady eyes. The same hormones which blind reason, strangle judgment, and completely shame any attempts of control.

Then there is the manboy; a manboy is that boy who ascends to the status of a man. Yet has returned, to the comfort and safety of boy living. A manboy has experienced the crippling effect of hormones. Has faced the anxiety of the questions with no answers. And in light of this knowledge, has turned and fled the hardened battlefield.

The manboy quivers in fear. The fear of returning. The stress, the anxiety.

Nature has a funny way of balancing things out though.

In the above mentioned quivering and fear, there is also a mixture of wanting. The desire to conquer the challenge. To overcome the obstacles…again.

Dating girls is hard

I’m not saying anything new. All these things have been said before. The difficulty of women, it’s an age old struggle of understanding.

This brings us back to the metaphor from above, a man playing Craps. This metaphor was chosen for a few reasons.

Craps is a form of gambling. Gambling is a game of chance. There is no direct influence on the outcome of a game. The risks are great, but the outcome potentially fruitful. I suppose that is what keeps them coming back.

I’m sure many would like to challenge some points I am making. In light of that challenge, I bring my next witness.

I have a friend, Amber. Amber had a period of her life where she dated another girl. Amber related to me some of the sensations of dating a girl. Uncertainty, confusion, mis-understandings, etc etc. All the same elements are present as when a man dates a woman. Amber’s conclusion was that dating a girl was much harder than she had ever considered.

That’s right ladies. One of your own has spoken; the results conclusive. The courting of your gender is highly confusing and painfully tedious.

A baby bird gains the strength needed in life by breaking free of its embryo egg shell. The struggle to free itself from the shell is where the strength to survive is obtained. If the bird escapes by its own merit, the likelihood of its survival is increased greatly.

Just as with birds, humans need to work in order to evolve. Human evolution is ensured by this element of difficulty in understanding the opposite sex. Being genderless I can unbiased-ly state that women are far and beyond more elusive than their counterpart. This is likely due to their childbearing roll in the evolution process. Despite this reason, there are known cases of men acquiring this added level of confusion and elusive behavior. It is because of this that I must assume those evasion tools which are featured in all women, are also available to men. Its an accessory, it may be acquired, but is not required.

I personally feel this is a safety mechanic of evolution; a safeguard for humanity. In my mind this difficulty is present in order to cull out the weak of our species.

Often time people self-assess the human race and conclude that it is a wonder we occupy the lead in the food chain. But can you imagine how much worse it would be if humans freely reproduced without any emotionally difficulty or drama? Yes, be very grateful the movement of the 60’s did not survive (that was “free love” if I’m not mistaken)

Keep this in mind the next time you are burnt by the opposite sex, and feel privileged to have witnessed first-hand the safeguard of humanity.

Title image used with permission and courtesy of Burgy, check out the original here.

Read it in the bathroom! Print It! Read it in the bathroom! Print It!

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