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well protected fence

Kristi (Kyla’s mom) wrote:

I’m going out of town for a week at the end of this month (September). What do
you suggest i do with my 20 year old daughter who gets scared to be alone at
night? Please help me!

Hello Kristi,

There are many services of which you can take advantage.

Are you looking for full 24/7 coverage for your daughter? Or are you simply needing a night service (you mention she gets scared at night)?

No matter your needs, we have you covered. Ponderplace has available representatives who are qualified and trained in anti-ninja tactics, mug diversion, alien abduction avoidance, and clown neutralizing, among other things.

We offer both local and remote protection services. Our solutions are available on site at your location. We are able to setup “base” at your house (assuming this is where your daughter lives) and operate at full capacity.

Also available are our own facilities. If chosen your daughter will have full access to a secured, highly secret (from bad people) location. This facility features the utmost in security and intrusion detection. As a courtesy we have equipped the facility with facilities such as plumbing, electricity, and air conditioning.

Given the time frame referenced (end of September) we would even offer specialized training for our representative. You will need to consult your daughter and determine the top three things your daughter is scared of. Provide those to us and our representative will be well versed in diverting said items of scaredom from the presence of your daughter.

Satisfaction guaranteed. Thats our motto here at Ponderplace Tending Services Inc. We know who’s important and that is our customers. If your not happy with our services you get your money back in full.

Submit your own Ponderment requests HERE.

Read it in the bathroom! Print It! Read it in the bathroom! Print It!

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