Ponder Place

We all know it exists. Out there haunting and captivating the time of many. Those in pursuit of answers to questions they are not even aware of. It is safe to say, we are all affected by it in one way or another, whether it is a co-worker, a friend — or a parent. *dun dun dun*

Let’s expound on that. To understand the last statement we need to look at the girls of porn. They are aliens. Have you ever seen the TV show Roswell? Or perhaps 3rd Rock From The Sun? Smallville?

None of those people are actually aliens. Yeah, you would not know it, but they are not real aliens.

Superman was 100% real alien; this was before the terrible cooking accident that took his alienism from him.

*moment of respectful silence*

Unfortunately this aspect was never included in any of the films, nor in the TV shows that he started producing after the accident. He is now only 8% alien. Which makes for some killer stunts on the set, and thus great movies, but he is never welcome to join his alien family; which is sad.

Read his biography and you will find no mention of Superman being an alien (originally). This is fine most of the time, but it makes it very difficult to point out the correlation to porn.

On his home planet Superman was a porn star. Seriously — Man Of Steel — is there any question as to where that come from? If you guessed third full length feature film, than you would be correct.

So basically we have this super porn star who decides to live on earth because his therapist tells him that he needs something fulfilling in his life. So he decides that saving helpless humans on planet earth is a great stress reliever.

He moves to earth. The porn industry (on his home planet) falls into a slump.

This caused a lot of rich (greasy) alien porn producers to gather together in council. They needed to create a strategy in which to return their income to the levels that it had been previously, when they had Superman as their main star.

They debate for an unknown amount of time (speculated to be within a week time period). There was discussion of the pros and cons of bringing in other porn stars (Glycolman anyone?). After copious amounts of debate, they decide they need to get Superman back. This would seem an obvious solution, one that would have been explored more quickly.

Alas it was not, so they sent an epistle explaining their dire situation.

Superman was livid and would have nothing of it. He would never return to that life of depression (the planet not the career). He did however feel there was a way for them to meet in the middle, and by that he meant a way they could meet him…here…on earth.

The greasy alien Producers were desperate to resolve their needy situation. And they were willing to do whatever it took. Arrangements were made, and they transported a passel of porn stars to earth in order to work with Superman.

This brings us back to our present discussion; the truth about porn. The truth is that porn was traditionally just a bunch of aliens sent here to enrich the lives of a bunch of other aliens back at their homeland.

Unfortunately this kind of utopia (for the greasy Producers) could not last, and it did not. Soon we had a fallout of alien porn stars who started mingling with the humans. This was bad for a few reasons, none of which we will mention here.

Pretty soon we had a bunch of half alien/half human people running around living normal day to day lives, reading the truth about porn. That’s you. *dun dun dun*

One thing to understand is that aliens aren’t necessarily tentacle laden beasts of slim, but rather they look very similar to us. The only difference is that they are all ridiculously good looking, whereas purebred humans are all ugly. This has been improved by the intermixing of aliens with humans; which increased the odds of good looking humans quite a bit.

And in reality, isn’t this the pursuit of mankind? To evolve into a more beautiful species? I think this is something we can all agree on; as does Superman.

This writing is a revised version of my earlier work on my personal blog. The original writing can be found here.