Which comes first, the chicken, or the egg?
The initial path of logic is that the egg came first, and from the egg, a baby chicken. But quite contradicting, the egg comes out of a chicken.
Here is something not normally touched on in this evolutionary subject. The egg; as a society, we look at an egg and we think, baby chicken. I look at the egg and see a white hard crust, around a baby chicken.
To avoid any confusion; when referring to an “egg”, I am merely referring to the hard white crust that encompasses a chicklett during incubation. It should also be noted that in this writing I’ll only be discussing eggs of the chicken variant. It is beyond the scope of this writing to discuss others in the egg family (turtles lay eggs too you know).
Any reference to “baby chicken” or “chicklett” is from here on out, a reference to a baby chicken or a chicklett. In other words; the thing that crawls out of the egg. And furthermore, any time I refer to a “chicken”, I’m referring to the developed and adult version of the baby chicken.
Where does this third party come from? And why does nobody discuss its origin?
Here is my theory. The Egg came first.
In its beginning, the Egg was a docile creature, but only in appearance. It favored shade, and would hunt during the cool of night. An unsuspecting opponent, the Egg almost always had the edge of surprise on its side. It would attack quickly and fiercely. Devouring its prey, and returning to its damp cave dugouts. While its Egglings feast on the nights capture.
I can only speculate that the primitive Egg would not have made a good pet. The average Egg weighed in at 250-300lbs. And being at the top of the food chain, they naturally consumed anything that crossed their path. This likely would include this theoretical pet’s owner.
Let’s talk about the reproductive process for the primitive Egg.
The act of sex, for Eggs, is all done through the frontal lobes of the brain; otherwise known as, telepathy. If I were to describe it in its most basic form, it would appear to us as a pleasant conversation. A negotiation no doubt, as Eggs do “mate” for life.
Also, it should be noted, there is no male or female; though their habits do form around the traditional habits of a male and female. It would probably be more appropriate to say their relationships consist of two roles. One an aggressor, and the other a protective and defensive role.
Once a life plan has been established the two Eggs spend the next moon cycle familiarizing with one another and adapting to their new roles. While doing this, they spend their nights roaming in search of their new home.
The Egg is a careful creature. They tend to remain in a single area for extended periods of time. This is why they are so particular when choosing their first estate. They need a location that provides the damp coolness of earth. This protects them from the harsh sun (more of which we’ll touch on later). They also need a location that allows easy access to water. They are much like frogs, in that they soak in water to drink. Unlike frogs, their “skin” is hard and does not absorb. Because of this they spend exuberant amounts of time soaking. Though they spent large amounts of time soaking in water, it is speculated that the primary limitation of the egg species was due to dehydration.
After the appropriate dwelling circumstances has been found. The two Eggs will then spend one night feeding excessively. They need to fill themselves overly so, in order to make it through their first mating ritual. The mating ritual lasts two to three years, dependant upon the mind skills of each mate.
As mentioned earlier, there is neither male nor female. One would then think that they would both carry offspring. This is not the case. Due to the delicate nature of the Egg offspring, the mate whom carries the offspring must take great care in moving slowly and methodically. Any sudden jarring might spoil the litter. This would subsequently result in the end of that family line. It’s not likely the mate carrying the offspring would survive the natural regurgitation of the now deceased Egg fetus (which may be an inaccurate description, as its more Egg spoil than fetus). Because the Egg does not have a mouth, regurgitation is the process of the internal dead-matter seeping out. Think of it as a reversal of the drinking process. Only it is highly accelerated, thus the high fatality rate (which rate is unproven).
Once the mate carrying the offspring dies, the other mate dies as well. It is not known why, but speculated that a life sustaining connection is made during the telepathic mating ritual.
This brings us to the demise of the Egg as a species.
This occurred sometime in the pre-prehistoric times. When there was a massive mini-tremor. This tremor was massive in that it encompassed the entire earth. And was mini in that it was a very low frequency tremor. This caused the upper crest of the earth to slowly sift. Because the Eggs were a relatively intelligent species, they knew to escape their now dangerous dwellings. However, their natural weakness to the sun caused them to be stunted, unmoving. They were unable to escape. Each day would disable them enough that they were unable to recover during the night. And the next day would bring them closer to death. The liquids within the Eggs were depleted and each day the Eggs slowly shrunk.
This continued until the Eggs were nearly the size of the chicken egg you are used to seeing today.
At this time, due to their size, they became optimal feed for pre-prehistoric pelicans. These pelicans ate the Eggs, which were in an extremely incapacitated state. But Eggs were hardcore, and managed to telepathically mate with the pelicans.
It is not known how this was able to occur. We do know that it was not entirely successful. As a result of this unnatural mating the pelicans served only as a host for the Egg, surviving until they birthed a single Egg, the result of a final attempt to survive. This surviving Egg used the protection of the pelican corpse until the time of maturity.
Unfortunately, due to unknown effects, once the pelican-produced Egg’s reached maturity (the entire process took four hours) the Egg died, and emerged the baby chicken.
Thus we are given this universe-tearing, logic-bending problem of which came first, the chicken or the egg?
This is actually a question of “which comes first, the chicken or the baby chicken?” and as a result of our explanation, we now know, the baby chicken came first. This in hind-sight is kind of a no-brainer.
There are a few observations I’d like to point out. First, the Egg’s mating with pelicans is extremely intriguing. I suspect within all creatures is a dormant or perhaps handicap ability to mate telepathically. This is something I would like to explore in future writing.